


Spite

by KivaEmber



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: Angst, Child Murder, Gen, Pre-Canon, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 17:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3259055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KivaEmber/pseuds/KivaEmber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuya’s love was a selfish, vindictive thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spite

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I wrote eons ago on tumblr, but I rather liked it so here you go. It's my first and only Hatoful Boyfriend fic too...

Yuuya was truly a master of cunning. Truly! How easy it had been to prowl under the Le Bel’s beak, especially so close to his precious heir! Yuuya supposed it helped that the Le Bel tried to ignore him as thoroughly as possible. Why, he may as well be a ghost for all the attention that was paid to him. It was a miracle he was even  _fed_.

As bastardly as Le Bel was, he at least honoured his agreement with his Mama in that respect.

Yuuya fought the urge to chirp merrily as he rolled the egg further into the woods that existed on Le Bel’s property. It had been difficult, he admitted, to switch the eggs without mother or the maids noticing. Everyone had cooed over the bastard’s egg, and Yuuya had to arrange a massive distraction in the hall to even get a precious few minutes to switch this egg with his brother’s.

He stopped when he reached a clearing, stretching out his wings to ease the cramps out of them. The sun was beginning to set, splashing the clearing in a mix of orange and gold light. He hoped that no one would notice the differences between the eggs. His brother’s was just a shade darker…

Yuuya felt anxiety writhe in his gut briefly. He had tried to keep his brother warm in his mother stead while waiting for an opportunity, but he was no hen, so he wouldn’t know if there was a problem with his brother’s development until he hatched. He had copied his mother as well he could when she used to warm him…

He brushed those concerns aside. Mother is warming him again, and Yuuya had done an excellent job. His brother would be fine.

Cicadas began to sing, and Yuuya looked about the small clearing for something to help him finish the last leg of his plan. There was a rock, very broad and hard looking, sitting on the very edge. It was almost black in colour, looking very ominous, and Yuuya scraped a talon against the surface contemplatively.

He could just roll the egg towards it full speed and it would smash, wouldn’t it?

Yuuya walked back to the egg, pressing his wings against the warm surface of its shell. There was no hesitation, none at all when he began to roll the egg, running as fast as he could over the bumpy clearing towards the large, black, horrible looking rock and-

He couldn’t really describe the noise when the egg collided with the rock, the shell splitting open and viscous goo smearing on the hard surface. It was enough to make him cringe and automatically turn away. The brief disgust vanished though as he fluffed up his feathers in victory.

He had done it. He had smashed the bastard’s egg, and his brother was safe beneath his mother once more. Yuuya’s only concern now was to make sure he didn’t crow in triumph whenever he looked Le Bel in the face.

Yuuya had planned to just strut away there and then, but something compelled him to look back at the rock with the split egg.

The shell had smashed in two, and on the grassy ground there was this ugly, slimy lump that glistened in the dying sun’s light. It was the undeveloped body of a young chick, its eyes bulbous and black underneath thin, veiny skin, its wings stubby and legs just tiny little sticks, its body contorted weirdly on the ground.

There was a shade of red mixed in with the slime, Yuuya realised detachedly. When the egg collided with the rock, the chick inside it was cut by something – the shell or the rock – and its thin, fragile neck was twisted around until it had torn, and even undeveloped inside it was-

Yuuya abruptly felt sick and he turned around, away from the chick and the smashed egg and the rock, and snapped his beak agitatedly.  

He had done it, right? His brother was safe, and he should have no thoughts about this bastard’s child.

…except that bastard’s child was still his mother’s child – his half-brother.

Yuuya suddenly felt very small and wretched, although he couldn’t explain why. He looked over at the chick again, and those black eyes were staring at him, its tiny beak slightly open as if silently accusing him.

A cold shudder rent through him, and feathers scattered as Yuuya fled.

 

* * *

 

His brother’s egg hatched a week after that.

There was a great fuss when it happened, and everyone cooed and complimented the young Sakuya, proclaiming that he would grow up to be a wonderful fantail indeed, worthy of the Le Bel name! Even his mother glowed, staring down at Sakuya in maternal pride.

Yuuya found he could barely look at him. Freshly broken from his shell, Sakuya’s eyes were still closed, his wings stubbly and skin veiny underneath the white fluff. He looked ugly, just as ugly as the chick in the clearing.

He made an effort for mother though. He chirped lovingly at Sakuya, even though he just wanted to be sick, because all he could think was  _‘I murdered a chick for you I murdered a chick for you I murdered a chick for you I murdered-‘_

That’s what Sakuya’s closed eyes screamed at him.

You’re a murderer.

 

* * *

 

Sakuya’s eyes were open now, and he was fluffier. He was beginning to grow into a fantail, and he was prone to waddling away from his mother’s nest out of curiosity. Everyone allowed him to too, heartily laughing how spirited he was. He was given whatever he wanted without protest, and even the bastard treated him with fondness – or pride. Yuuya doubted he could feel love with a heart so shrivelled.

Yuuya found himself both drawn and repulsed by Sakuya. It was easier to look at him, now that he didn’t look like- now that he was growing up. It helped that he was getting desensitised to it as well, since Sakuya was prone to following him about like he was a duckling, chirping obstinately at him and occasionally pulling at his tail feathers.

He never really forgot though. However, every time he felt disgusted resentment surge through him, he only had to look at Sakuya, as painful as it was, to remind himself that if it hadn’t been the bastard’s son who died like that, it would’ve been Sakuya.

Whose life deserved it? Neither of them, really. Yuuya knew that what he did was beyond cruel, absolutely filthy and wrong, because as much as he hated the bastard, his child had been…not part of it. It hadn’t been his fault.

Yuuya wished he could just blame Le Bel. The choice was forced upon him! To kill his brother or kill his half-brother, which one was worth more to him? His brother obviously, so really, he can’t be blamed!

That was cowardly though. Yuuya killed a chick. He killed it in cold blood, he had even laughed about it before doing it, had felt so triumphant and _smug_  and pleased over his plan. Just because Le Bel would have done the same didn’t mean it was right for him to do it as well.

And that was what made him feel sick to his stomach. He is just like the bastard – to what lengths he would go for his own selfish wants and spites.

Because he was selfish. His brother would have a good life, but the cold, vicious satisfaction that Yuuya felt every time Le Bel called Sakuya  _his son_ , was also a reason as to why he did it. Spite and brotherly love.

So when Sakuya waddled up to him, pulled on his tail feathers and chirped at him, dark eyes innocent of what a monster Yuuya was, he couldn’t help but feel a mix of profound love and vindictiveness.

Sakuya…you’re his revenge. Yuuya’s spite. But you’re also his brother.

And so long as Sakuya existed…

Yuuya would carry this burden to his grave without complaint.


End file.
